Gaming NewsFeb 10, 2017 at 6:00a PSTby Maiman

This week, do the math!

In today's world, numbers may come in handy.

Where I was born and raised, they told me never to lose my head over numbers, unless it was about deciding on how many beers I would have before sleep. “For numbers, or for math in general, there is no other use,” my father used to say, burp, and then add, “Yeah, math is pretty useless.”

How terribly wrong he was, I see now. Just… wait a minute, I need a drink, here it goes, and… Look at all the numbers the industry forces me to put up with!

Syberia 3 launches on April 20

That’s the third installment, fourth month, and the twentieth day (or the twenty-fifth for the US, yeah, bring it on!). Not to mention the year is, of course, two-seventeen. Even worse, when she’s out, Kate Walker will apparently pay a little visit not only to PC, but also to Xbox One and PlayStation 4.

I even began counting all the cuts and jumpcuts the new trailer embodied, but there were too many to keep track of them. Especially since I was still sobering up after what happened the night before. Too many pieces of my father’s advice, I’m telling you.

This is Syberia 3, only 13 years younger. - 2017-02-10
This is Syberia 3, only 13 years younger.

Anyway, I think it’s time I provided you with a useful tip on how to survive when visiting Syberia. No, solving different puzzles – varying in degree of complexity and the number of different approaches all of which can lead you to the solution – is not the answer you’re looking for. The answer is beer, or alcohol in general. Yes, only His Majesty Ethanol can really help you survive in the harsh conditions the land of snow and never-rising sun greets you with.

You’re welcome; now – to the stars!

GTA V sells 75 million copies

So the quantity of Five copies sold worldwide is equal to seventy-five million, which is apparently… roughly a lot times more than Mafia III’s earnings. And Mafia III’s sales, estimated at 5 million. For the sake of comparison, let’s forget about five for a little while, throw one Six into the mix, and voila, we get 1.5 million copies. But wait, there’s more! Just take out the comma and – unbelievable, I know – Red Dead Redemption sales lie before you.

This is Mafia too, only better. - 2017-02-10
This is Mafia too, only better.

Now, with the power of numbers no longer an unplumbed mystery, I think you are prepared to go one step further. So once again, turn Five to Six, but this time do it more forcefully, like you were kick-opening a door. Ready? Five, Six – there you go! However, remain focused, as we’re only halfway through. The hard part – round up the remaining one-and-a-half and supply it with twelve months, or a year, if you wish. We’re at year two, looking good, combination time, and… oh, fabulous, behold what you’ve knocked off!

Fun fact time! While you were doing all the magic… I was busy soaking up even more of my father’s advice.

4 Honor

For Honor, for the country, and for every human being on Earth I drink, and pray, and fight. But fighting always comes 1st, or at the very least it did on February the ninth, when 4 Honor open beta went live. It won’t stick around forever, though, so in case you’re not too late to join the party, make sure to do it before Sunday. And enjoy fighting.

If that’s not how you’d like to spend your weekend, however, The Bard’s Tale Four is here IV you. I mean, its extremely fresh, brand new combat trailer is here, and it features chess-like mechanics 2 keep your mind busy. You can loop it, and it will replay itself over and over again, 2, 3, four, 10, a thousand times, and so on to infinity, letting you marvel at them 2D heroes thrown into a 3D graphical environment for ages.

And should all of the above not satisfy you, I have some bad news – there’s no more good news. Well, maybe – but only if you’re not like me – you could fancy the Ultra HD Texture pack four Fallout For, which weighs 1080 GB, requires that your PC is armed with a GeForce 58 GTX, and your bandwidth sustains a ride it has never before experienced. And definitely never asked for. Hope it won’t just die.

This is 4K, OK? - 2017-02-10
This is 4K, OK?

Gr8, now I’m totally drunk, and the Internet café I’m currently @ closes in get-the-hell-out-or-I’m-calling-the-police minutes, as the owner was kind enough to in4m me. So, uh, not much more to say. See where doing math gets you?

The thing is: always listen to your father.