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Essays 23 September 2019, 16:43

author: Julia Dragovic

13 Rules of Life According to The Sims

Don't trust anyone. Facts? Don't be fooled. "Facts" are merely a scheme, a global conspiracy aimed at hiding the truth from us. And let me tell you in post-truth times, the only real source of knowledge about life are The Sims, so pay good attention.

Why bother mowing the lawn if you can just paint the ground green?

So, which lawn is better? Mosses, lichens, and green mold, or a beautiful, groomed lawn like on a golf course? The answer is simple. - 13 Rules of Life According to The Sims - dokument - 2019-09-23
So, which lawn is better? Mosses, lichens, and green mold, or a beautiful, groomed lawn like on a golf course? The answer is simple.

So many wasted hours, so much noise, shoulders burnt with sun, and the headache ("put on your hat, you'll get a heat stroke! ), the roaring engine, elaborate plans for finding the shortest way around the tree (ah crap, a stone!). And why can't this lawn be flat! Uphill and downhill, dragging this effin contraption and the whole weekend's wasted. And look, this neighbor's doing it on Saturday morning! And that one on Sunday how is he not ashamed... Oh, and the sprinklers, the fertilizers, you do everything you can, and still, there's a patch of yellowish grass here, mole mounds there, weeds of some kind, can't get rid of the darn thing, they always come back. Maybe I should use the same mat my neighbor used? Maybe it needs bark? Maybe gravel, or some sort of goddamn river stones? Why not just pave this effin' yard, or asphalt it? I'd have time to grill sausage and have beers instead of mowing the lawn, Jesus God.

Mowing the lawn is one of the most serious causes of depression since decades. It's really becoming the gospel of advanced economies of the world. You can love it, you can hate it but you have to do it. Exactly. Have to? Of course not. And guess what? The leaders of some States seem to have been following The Sims carefully, because they've known about it for a long time. There were some Soviet republics, such as Poland, for example, that knew better. Grass can be simply painted. It's so simple. You take a big cylinder and paint the ground with it. Different shades of green; you can add flowers, frost-resistant porcelain tiles, you can also draw ground the ground and so on. Mix textures to imitate a more nonchalant approach to mowing and caring for the grass; paint more ground in spots that are used more often to add a notch of realism; you can also go all the way, and just get the perfect, lush lawn. And most importantly the effects will last a lifetime. Without mowing.

NOT JUST GRASS

This method is also applicable to your own appearance it hasn't been confirmed, but was probably perfectly internalized by the former Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi. Google it and take a look at that thick, perfect, luxurious hairdo in the perfect shade of black. There is no doubt that he has reached true mastery.

The Sims 4

The Sims 4

The Sims 3

The Sims 3

The Sims 2

The Sims 2

The Sims

The Sims

The Right Expansion at the Right Time - Interview with Sims 4: Snowy Escape Dev
The Right Expansion at the Right Time - Interview with Sims 4: Snowy Escape Dev

Snowy Escape, the latest DLC for The Sims 4, introduces Zen, Japanese landscapes, and a few new mechanics we've talked with Graham Nardone, the lead producer, about why these were the motifs they opted for, and what's to come in the future.

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