13 Rules of Life According to The Sims

Table of Contents

• 13 Rules of Life According to The Sims
• After entering adolescence, everyone knows how to drive a car
• Undercover agents and astronauts are hired through the Internet
• As we all know, teenage years officially end on your 36th birthday
• Children are conceived by kissing
• Give enough complements to someone, and they'll go to bed with you
• If you are a man and want to have a child, consider allowing aliens to abduct you
• You can drink as much as you want, and you will not become an alcoholic
• Social service comes after three days of the baby crying
• Why bother mowing the lawn if you can just paint the ground green?
• If you talk to the mirror long enough, you'll get promoted
• A group of strangers knocking on the door? Let them in
• Even if you work as a janitor, a chauffeur will drive you to work

If you are a man and want to have a child, consider allowing aliens to abduct you

As Nazareth's Dan McCafferty sang: "Dream on!"

Ladies and gentlemen, let's get serious. We are in the twenty-first century, and we must put an end to this prudence. Pregnancy for everyone! Although... How is a regular citizen supposed to know about this, if the government is lying to us about aliens? My apologies.

We've already established that aliens do exist. Some of you have known about that, certainly, but you might have been afraid of how others would react. The only thing that's keeping men from enjoying the miracle of nativity is a shift in society and abolishing the stigmatization of inter-species relationships.

This is a very sensitive issue, and we shall not moralize, so the only advice is: if you only want to, go live the moment. Or let yourself be abducted by aliens who will get you pregnant in no time. Perhaps invest in a suitably large telescope.