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Movies & Series 12 June 2020, 18:16

author: Marek Jura

Absolutely Worst Video Game Adaptations – Uwe Boll Would be Proud!

Hollywood has been awkwardly flirting with electronic entertainment hits since the early nineties. Already then, the general rule was that the movies mostly sucked, and yet, Uwe Boll was only getting started. Here's the selection of terrible movies.

Table of Contents

BloodRayne

  1. What is it? Dark action movie
  2. Where to watch (at your own risk): Cineman

Before Stephenie Meyer's books became all the rage, vampires were a little unfashionable. Yes, they were often the antagonists, but we rarely got a game with a vampire protagonist. In the world of electronic entertainment, the exception was Cain and Rayne. The heroine of BloodRayne, half vampiress, half the embodiment of players' wet dreams, sowed death and destruction, but was also quite cunning. The plot might have not been a masterpiece; we got Nazis, occultism and a pinch of understatement, but the atmosphere was pretty appealing. It literally poured out of the screen along with Rayne's ferocious punches.

The same cannot be said of Uwe Boll's movie. This is perhaps not the worst of his accomplishments; this might actually be his top five. But it's still a weak film in almost every way.

The cast is where it's at – not so famous at the time, but also not quite anonymous – we've got Michelle Rodriguez, Kristinna Loken, Michael Madsen, Udo Kier and Ben Kingsley himself. Unfortunately, Marvel's Mandarin comes across as a rather unconvincing father of the protagonist. None of his ominous deliver any sense of horror. What we feel is mostly indifference, with a fit of embarrassment.

The worst part, however, is that the movie lacks a punch. Everything is half-baked. Rayne is neither violent nor gentle; the set design is neither overly realistic nor really exaggerated. The soundtrack is completely unremarkable. Even so, the movie occasionally manages to translate the game's atmosphere. And after dozens of minutes of chaos, the action begins to move in a more or less sensible direction. To be clear, it's a weak picture, but Boll didn't manage to spoil everything.

Marek Jura

Marek Jura

In 2016, he graduated in philology at UAM. Since then, he has been reviewing prose, poetry, movies, series, and video games for GRYOnline.pl. He took his first steps in the journalism industry as a newsman in a local tabloid. He ran his own company - he designed, created, tested, and sold board games. He published several short stories and is also preparing his debut volume of poetry. Trains martial arts. A feminist, vegan, fan of pineapple on pizza, cat lover, dislikes Bethesda and Amazon, likes Lovecraft, Agents of SHIELD, P:T, Beksiński, Hollow Knight, performance, abstract art, game mods and dumplings.

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