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Movies & Series 12 June 2020, 18:16

author: Marek Jura

Absolutely Worst Video Game Adaptations – Uwe Boll Would be Proud!

Hollywood has been awkwardly flirting with electronic entertainment hits since the early nineties. Already then, the general rule was that the movies mostly sucked, and yet, Uwe Boll was only getting started. Here's the selection of terrible movies.

Table of Contents

Alone in the Dark: Shadow Island

  1. What is it? Action horror
  2. Where to watch (at your own risk): Chili

In 1992, Alone in the Dark was a genuine revolution. The elaborate plot, Lovecraftian themes and incredible animations quickly secured a cult-classic status of the game, and several sequels followed. A film adaptation premiered a year later. Although "adaptation" might be a bit of an overstatement. It's more like the movie just happened to have the same title.

What went wrong? It's simple – everything. The actors seemed to realize what kind of production they were involved in, and they didn't even strive for anything more than plastic affectations and incoherent reactions of the characters. The soundtrack, which could be considered good as a separate entity, is combined with the clips in a manner reminiscent of amateur YouTube music videos made on cheap software.

As for the plot... I heard there was one. The main character is named after the game's protagonist. That's where the similarities end. There are monsters from outer space crossed with orphans, mysterious artifacts and cheesy sex scenes. Only Uwe Boll knows what it has to do with the original.

The game original was inspired by Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos. There's stuff like the Necronomicon found in a dark mansion, but the whole story strongly resembles that of The Case of Charles Dexter Ward and the Pickman's Model. Unfortunately, although Uwe Boll is certainly familiar with Lovecraft's oeuvre (he's actually a PhD in literature), there's not even the slightest reference to the works of the writer from Providence.

Marek Jura

Marek Jura

In 2016, he graduated in philology at UAM. Since then, he has been reviewing prose, poetry, movies, series, and video games for GRYOnline.pl. He took his first steps in the journalism industry as a newsman in a local tabloid. He ran his own company - he designed, created, tested, and sold board games. He published several short stories and is also preparing his debut volume of poetry. Trains martial arts. A feminist, vegan, fan of pineapple on pizza, cat lover, dislikes Bethesda and Amazon, likes Lovecraft, Agents of SHIELD, P:T, Beksiński, Hollow Knight, performance, abstract art, game mods and dumplings.

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