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Movies & Series 13 November 2020, 10:35

author: Adam Zechenter

10 Things Netflix has to Improve in The Witcher Season 2

The Witcher rocking Netflix, and we're looking for holes in the whole thing, dismantling the American production to the first factors and wondering what could have been done better.

Don't be so silly!

The basic rules of survival: no supplies, no warm clothes.

While random encounters are mildly amusing and they are justified in a way, but the chronic lack of logic and consequence is difficult to forgive. I will mention just a few examples, as we will probably deal with them in a separate text, because there is a lot of them. And I must emphasize this I am not among the people who can't stand any plot holes and even if, I'm not particularly dramatic about them (for example, in Prometheus, all these absurdities of the scenario did not bother me at all, and I enjoyed the film). The fact that I do mind the inconsistencies of The Witcher really says something about the quality of the narrative.

If someone had told me before the show that Aretuza is powered by eels, which actually are unfortunate apprentices, I would have told them to lay off the booze for a while. I haven't seen something so stupid and ludicrous in a long time. I have no idea who came up with this idea, but I hope they're never trusted again.

In Aretuza, the accumulation of nonsense per square foot is probably the greatest, not only because the entire school seems to consist of barely five chambers and some dungeons. The icing on the cake is Yennefer's transition a fantastically shot scene, dramatic, and perfectly intertwined with scenes of Geralt fighting the striga. But... it somehow all happens during, like, a prom night? Did the sorceress really pass this terrible mutation in 30 minutes, quickly put on some makeup and a moment later floated above the dance floor, seducing the assembled nobility?

It's l-i-t. With eels. Whose idea was that? Not mine.

Here are a few other examples just off the top of my head

  1. Yennefer decides off her own accord to undergo the magical transformation of her body. As a result, she becomes infertile. A few episodes later, she complains it wasn't her choice. Okie, Yen, you're getting delusional.
  2. During the battle of Sodden, the Nilfgaardians are using some novel combat strategy, which consists in letting the defeated enemies be. Why not arrest them or kill them? I mean, are you sure they won't cause any more trouble?
  3. Or Geralt demanding a random peasant, after accepting the striga contract, to "Show me the way to Temeria." I mean. Temeria is a fucking country, Geralt. There you have a legendary monster slayer who's not sure which way is north.
  4. Or Ciri leaving Brokilon with the fake Mousesack, who isn't even carrying a backpack for the dangerous excursion into the wild. The same applies to the dragon hunt. The continent is either so small that it takes "an hour on a fast horse" to get everywhere, or somebody forgot about the props.
  5. Geralt bargains with a peasant who wants the Witcher to kill the devil. White Wolf raises the wage from one hundred to one hundred and fifty crowns. And the peasant? Conveniently pulls out a pouch with the counted amount and leaves. It takes a very, very thoughtful peasant, and a very confident Witcher.
  6. The Mousesack holds Nilfgaard's soldiers with magic for several hours. Ciri, however, begins to escape the castle only when the magic barrier finally breaks.

Such absurdities are pretty abundant, unfortunately. And you can just see that many of these are the result of "stitching" the show together, so that some crucial scenes can finally take place regardless of how much sense it makes along the way. I would prefer that the authors achieved this goal in a different way than sacrificing logic to achieve end.

CHANCES FOR IMPROVEMENT?

It's hard to judge, and I'm skeptical. The creators opted for an artistic direction, in which showiness is more important than logic.

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