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Essays 23 September 2019, 16:43

author: Julia Dragovic

Children are conceived by kissing. 13 lessons The Sims taught us about life

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The sims have reached a point, where anti-conception is completely unnecessary – if you do not want to have children, you won't have them. If you do, you will. It's all a matter of willpower and attitude. This is the conclusive argument of all endless, bioethical discussions about world outlook (including abortion). - 13 Rules of Life According to The Sims - dokument - 2019-09-23
The sims have reached a point, where contraconception is completely unnecessary – if you do not want to have children, you won't have them. If you do, you will. It's all a matter of willpower and attitude. This is the conclusive argument of all endless, bioethical discussions about world outlook (including abortion).

Sex ed teachers used to show us books about boys and girls. Inside, there were two-page, cartoonish illustrations depicting anatomically inaccurate figures of two human-shaped forms, presumably in school age. Their sex could only be determined by the length of their hair. So far, so good. Only the nudity doesn't make sense – we all know everyone has a cloud of pixels under their underwear. Anyway, this is how we've learned where babies come from. The description in the textbook said something like:

If mom and dad love each other very much and hug very tightly, the sperm moves to the egg, and so a baby is made.

This is a sad, skewed picture of child sex education. For there is no evidence (empirical or theoretical) that children come from hugging. They come from kissing. I mean, they used to – as proven by the experience of modern sims (you need to know that the aforementioned textbook was published around those times). If you have old computers buried somewhere in attics or basements, you may find old records and photographs documenting this intimate act.

Just think how huge the misinformation was. How many people went hugging as hard as they could, to no avail! Currently, the whole pregnancy thing evolved a bit, and you can now kiss without having kids. Access to information about parenthood is also much easier.

SEX EDUCATION FACTS

Since we are on the subject, we must finally, decisively and emphatically say: children come from a pit under the blanket, from which hearts are oozing. There, the beans have been spilled. You might want to be careful with kissing anyway. Just in case.

Julia Dragovic

Julia Dragovic

She studied philosophy and philology and honed her writing skills by producing hundreds of assignments. She has been a journalist at Gamepressure since 2019, first writing in the newsroom, then becoming a columnist and reviewer, and eventually, a full-time editor of our game guides. She has been playing games for as long as she can remember – everything except shooters and RTSs. An ailurophile, fan of The Sims and concrete. When she's not clearing maps of collectibles or playing simulators of everything, economic strategies, RPGs (including table-top) or romantic indie games, Julia explores cities in different countries with her camera, searching for brutalist architecture and post-communist relics.

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