Essays 09 April 2024, 01:00

50 Shades of The Sims - A List of Naughty Mods

Taking care of the highest quality of entertainment, we searched the Internet (because there's more than the Wicked Whims) so that your Sims 4 become a little more greasy. And maybe sometimes a tiny bit naughty.

Life Tragedies

Murdered by a hitman, a random passerby lies on the street in the light of a lantern, forgotten by the Grim Reaper.

It's time for a bit of madness. You wanted realism? There you have it. Life Tragedies will add to the Sims' lives everything you wouldn't want in your own, but there's nothing better than torturing harmless Sims, aye? Maybe you want to rethink your sick drives (I know I don't) – in the meantime, let's talk about a tragedy simulator.

Or maybe these are no tragedies at all? It's actually a scumbag simulator. Imagine your sim as an evil genius with unlimited powers and resources. One of the things you can do is send a hitman after someone. You get a whole spectrum of colourful personalities to choose from. If you'd rather cut the middle-man and do the wet work yourself, you'll have a range of options available, including stabbing with a pen, suffocating with a pillow, or frying with a flamethrower. Is that not enough? I know it's never enough. But there's more.

The next item on the agenda is deadly diseases. You can give them to people, take them to the hospital (if you have the Get to Work expansion), cure the disease and give it again. It's not that it doesn't have any consequences. The sick Sims will cry, get depressed, and their lives will soon be over. And if that's not enough for you, I'll tell you a story:

The lawnmower got hit so hard he went through the wall.

Since I wrote the first version of this article, I was left with a pathological family of two incredibly conflicted sims. Lei, the substantial lady in the hairdo, was constantly taking it out on a big muscle guy. Of course, when she got a chance to use brand-new bullying techniques, she battered him even further. He laid on the lawn bruised and bloodied for a good while before he even moved. And when he finally did, he hired a female hitman who came, watched the TV for a while, and left. And 5,000 Simoleons for the job went down the sewer.

The brave warrior decides to take care of the matter himself, and strangles his roommate with a diaper. The Reaper arrives, the conversation was was so he stayed for dinner, followed by a beating. Our insane killer hero walked out of the house, handed a poisoned apple to a stranger, and then gave a terminal illness to the elderly lady delivering pizza. As she kneeled, crying, the NPCs rushed away. Out of boredom, he called the assassin professor. As the professor was stabbing a random passerby in the neck, our strongman took the elderly lady away and bid his farewell, burning her on the spot with a thrower, laughing maniacally.

By this stage I was a bit sick of his exploits, so I ordered a car accident for him. The car, hitting him with much momentum, launched him high into the air, and he, having landed underneath a bench, dead, in the company of his good pal Grim Reaper, enjoyed a refreshing nap.

FOR THE RECORD

Bullying is dumb and a sign of weakness. If you've ever been bullied, it's of course no laughing matter. Upon noticing any form of violence, you should always stand up and help the people in need. Beyond that, this mod can be good fun, even though it's obviously pretty edgy. Remember, asking for help is no shame.

The mod will also enable anyone to commit assault and to speed up the aftermath of tragedies – meaning the sims will fall ill more often and more quickly, and kidnappings, armed assaults, and homicides will be more popular.

Download the Life Tragedies modification.

Deadly Toddlers

The ultimate proof that people with tattoos shouldn't have children – it's all because of the ink.

Deadly Toddlers is a mod similar to Life Tragedies, except it focuses on babies. If you've looked at previous mods, you've probably seen that cursing "toddlers" don't cut it anymore. Now, the sim babies are finally getting their five minutes.

Let's begin with the fact that you can give a knife to the baby as early as in the CAS character creator. They love the knives, too. Also, they're not very keen on stabbing, unless you're willing to rehearse the Red Wedding.

When the kids start stabbing everyone around and the Grim Reaper is having a hard time collecting all the bodies, you may lose half NPCs in the hood (parents go first, of course). Don't fool yourself, too – you won't be able to stop the rampage once the beast is unleashed. Even if you delete that interaction from the queue, little Damien will be out for everyone, who doesn't run away. Including your favorite sim. Save the game before giving toddlers knives, otherwise you'll be lamenting, pleading to the Grim Reaper to give you your sim back, looking for ways to get the blood stains off the carpet. Hard consequences, my dear friends!

What concerns the toddler itself – it will be blood-red after the first second, and you'll be able to max out all its needs. The amused little monster will be over the Moon with excitement.

And then, it will proceed to crying, because there's no mama and papa.