13 Sick Things We Did to The Sims
If the sims were ever to become sentient, we'd be screwed. Have you ever killed one? We've collected a few stories of cruelty, and virtual horror in The Sims.
Table of Contents
- 13 Sick Things We Did to The Sims
- 1. The wet Sim
- 4. Picasso in the basement
- 6. Man's best friend
- 9. Sim labyrinth
- 11. Karma
9. Sim labyrinth
Another user climbed the heights of cruelty by building a huge maze of hedge. In the center of the labyrinth, the brave Theseus lived in his tiny home – a bed, a fridge, a shower and everything you need for a happy, virtual life. The exit from the maze ended right by the road, where the car taking the sim to work was parked.
His artificial intelligence was based on very simple principles and needs. When the energy is low, sims drink coffee or want to go to bed; when they feel smelly, they take a shower; and when the car honks, they leave to work.
It works quite well, unless the sim is trapped inside a labyrinth. It takes seven hours to reach the car. During the run, he loses consciousness twice and once pees in his pants. After work, exhausted and soaked, he returns home. He can only run to the car, so now it only walks. So it takes him 14 hours to get back. As soon as he returns, a car pulls up to take him back to work.
Elessar's testimony (aka Maniac)
We regret to report that our colleague in the newsroom also fell victim to the disastrous influence of The Sims. Elessar currently works in a soundproof room. Sometimes he screams, but we pretend not to hear. Below is his testimony, which he gave when he began to see the distinctive green diamonds above people's heads.
"It started in 2000. My mom bought me The Sims, but I wanted Blair Witch Project. I was very sad, but I soon discovered that I could build my own abandoned house with a murderous witch and invite people to it. At first, even my sim was nice: went to work, paid the bills, and kept in touch with neighbors.
But one day, he'd throw a part, locked the doors, walked outside, and watched others having fun from outside. A fire broke out, and the sims lit up like Christmas trees. It was a bright night.
I was just annoyed afterwards because I had to clean up the ashes, which is why decided to starve people to death.
10. Panopticon
This idea is as old as philosophy. Well, maybe not that old, because a special kind of prison was invented by the British philosopher Jeremy Bentham in the 18th century. The project was to create such a facility, in which all prisoners would be subjected to constant surveillance without realizing it.
It's hard to resist the impression that many players are unwittingly taking advantage of Bentham's assumptions. While it's not so easy to build a round house in The Sims, players constantly create cells that are impossible to get out of, but which let you look inside. Typically, the poor sim either starves to death or performs endless work. Anyway, I wonder if, provided he was alive, Bentham would be designing the Panopticon in The Sims?
Round prison
Bentham's Panopticon was round. Cells were separated by a thick wall so that the prisoners did not interact with each other. They had external windows to keep them well lit, and of course internal ones for observation. In the center of the prison was a single pointed guard tower covered with one-way mirrors. As a result, prisoners were never sure if they were being watched at any given moment.
Jeremy Bentham included the panopticon project in a book entitled, get this: PANOPTICON; OR, THE INSPECTION-HOUSE: CONTAINING THE IDEA OF A NEW PRINCIPLE OF CONSTRUCTION APPLICABLE TO ANY SORT OF ESTABLISHMENT, IN WHICH PERSONS OF ANY DESCRIPTION ARE TO BE KEPT UNDER INSPECTION. Period. As you can see, the philosopher saw the benefit of the project not only in prisons. The actual Panopticon was never built, though the idea inspired architects of the Presidio Modelo prison (pictured), once home to Fidel Castro.
