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Essays 23 September 2019, 16:43

author: Julia Dragovic

13 Rules of Life According to The Sims

Don't trust anyone. Facts? Don't be fooled. "Facts" are merely a scheme, a global conspiracy aimed at hiding the truth from us. And let me tell you in post-truth times, the only real source of knowledge about life are The Sims, so pay good attention.

After reading this text, you will understand how great are the gaps in education in our society, how many meaningless schemes and patterns we're stuck in completely unreflectively, and how many lies we're fed from the earliest age. We don't know the next thing about life.

Below, you'll find 13 professional, social, and moral tips coming from The Sims 4. Tips on life. After reading this text, nothing will be the same.

The text was made without consulting a doctor, nor pharmacist. Take the advice at your own risk and responsibility.

If you want a daughter, eat watermelons

As you can see, this method of family planning is already getting serious scientific coverage. - 13 Rules of Life According to The Sims - dokument - 2019-09-23
As you can see, this method of family planning is already getting serious scientific coverage.

Forget everything you've learned from your family, friends, and Facebook groups, about the factors that will affect the gender of your potential offspring. Pickles, fancy positions, insulated underwear, calendars all lies! The only proven method is eating fruit. Specifically: watermelons and apples.

It's blatantly simple: if you dream of a girl eat three watermelons during pregnancy. If you want a boy get three apples. The ideal solution is forgetting all other foods and feeding on the chosen fruit for nine months. Experiments have proven such constraints of diet have no adverse effects at all. If you can eat refrigerated beans for your whole life, you can definitely get away with apples.

Warning! This advice concerns women. Advice regarding man pregnancy will also be provided. Just a bit later.

The Sims 4

The Sims 4

The Sims 3

The Sims 3

The Sims 2

The Sims 2

The Sims

The Sims

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