13 Rules of Life According to The Sims
Don't trust anyone. Facts? Don't be fooled. "Facts" are merely a scheme, a global conspiracy aimed at hiding the truth from us. And let me tell you – in post-truth times, the only real source of knowledge about life are The Sims, so pay good attention.
Table of Contents
- 13 Rules of Life According to The Sims
- After entering adolescence, everyone knows how to drive a car
- Undercover agents and astronauts are hired through the Internet
- As we all know, teenage years officially end on your 36th birthday
- Children are conceived by kissing
- Give enough complements to someone, and they'll go to bed with you
- If you are a man and want to have a child, consider allowing aliens to abduct you
- You can drink as much as you want, and you will not become an alcoholic
- Social service comes after three days of the baby crying
- Why bother mowing the lawn if you can just paint the ground green?
- If you talk to the mirror long enough, you'll get promoted
- A group of strangers knocking on the door? Let them in
- Even if you work as a janitor, a chauffeur will drive you to work
If you talk to the mirror long enough, you'll get promoted
Those were the days. If you had enough money and a broad back, any job could be yours. It's a method proven by generations of the Sims. A mirror used to be enough to hone your interviewee skill to perfection. Currently, employees who want to get promoted have to read some books, and do other stupid things (for example, care about their fitness). Training speech remains, however, a very significant factor on the way to a career.
Remember the high school finals? In my day, one of the things you had to do, was to prepare a presentation, learn it by heart, and fit it into like fifteen minutes of talking. The teachers definitely knew what was up, because their main advice for controlling the time of the oral presentation was talking to a mirror. Precision, control, eloquence, time efficiency. Stopwatch in hand, and off we go. Once you mastered this skill, you could go conquering the world. Mainly because it was the last exam, after which, the endless holidays began. But also because after the baptism of fire, you would be able to handle any speech situation, at work and otherwise. The wisdom of The Sims has no limits.
