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Essays 23 September 2019, 16:43

author: Julia Dragovic

13 Rules of Life According to The Sims

Don't trust anyone. Facts? Don't be fooled. "Facts" are merely a scheme, a global conspiracy aimed at hiding the truth from us. And let me tell you in post-truth times, the only real source of knowledge about life are The Sims, so pay good attention.

Children are conceived by kissing

The sims have reached a point, where anti-conception is completely unnecessary  if you do not want to have children, you won't have them. If you do, you will. It's all a matter of willpower and attitude. This is the conclusive argument of all endless, bioethical discussions about world outlook (including abortion). - 13 Rules of Life According to The Sims - dokument - 2019-09-23
The sims have reached a point, where contraconception is completely unnecessary if you do not want to have children, you won't have them. If you do, you will. It's all a matter of willpower and attitude. This is the conclusive argument of all endless, bioethical discussions about world outlook (including abortion).

Sex ed teachers used to show us books about boys and girls. Inside, there were two-page, cartoonish illustrations depicting anatomically inaccurate figures of two human-shaped forms, presumably in school age. Their sex could only be determined by the length of their hair. So far, so good. Only the nudity doesn't make sense we all know everyone has a cloud of pixels under their underwear. Anyway, this is how we've learned where babies come from. The description in the textbook said something like:

If mom and dad love each other very much and hug very tightly, the sperm moves to the egg, and so a baby is made.

This is a sad, skewed picture of child sex education. For there is no evidence (empirical or theoretical) that children come from hugging. They come from kissing. I mean, they used to as proven by the experience of modern sims (you need to know that the aforementioned textbook was published around those times). If you have old computers buried somewhere in attics or basements, you may find old records and photographs documenting this intimate act.

Just think how huge the misinformation was. How many people went hugging as hard as they could, to no avail! Currently, the whole pregnancy thing evolved a bit, and you can now kiss without having kids. Access to information about parenthood is also much easier.

SEX EDUCATION FACTS

Since we are on the subject, we must finally, decisively and emphatically say: children come from a pit under the blanket, from which hearts are oozing. There, the beans have been spilled. You might want to be careful with kissing anyway. Just in case.

The Sims 4

The Sims 4

The Sims 3

The Sims 3

The Sims 2

The Sims 2

The Sims

The Sims

The Right Expansion at the Right Time - Interview with Sims 4: Snowy Escape Dev
The Right Expansion at the Right Time - Interview with Sims 4: Snowy Escape Dev

Snowy Escape, the latest DLC for The Sims 4, introduces Zen, Japanese landscapes, and a few new mechanics we've talked with Graham Nardone, the lead producer, about why these were the motifs they opted for, and what's to come in the future.

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