13 Rules of Life According to The Sims

Table of Contents

• 13 Rules of Life According to The Sims
• After entering adolescence, everyone knows how to drive a car
• Undercover agents and astronauts are hired through the Internet
• As we all know, teenage years officially end on your 36th birthday
• Children are conceived by kissing
• Give enough complements to someone, and they'll go to bed with you
• If you are a man and want to have a child, consider allowing aliens to abduct you
• You can drink as much as you want, and you will not become an alcoholic
• Social service comes after three days of the baby crying
• Why bother mowing the lawn if you can just paint the ground green?
• If you talk to the mirror long enough, you'll get promoted
• A group of strangers knocking on the door? Let them in
• Even if you work as a janitor, a chauffeur will drive you to work

Social service comes after three days of the baby crying

This image could use a bad punchline, but the characters are still in grief after their loss. Out of respect for their feelings, there will be no bad punchline.

This is what happens in less technologically advanced places. If you neglect your offspring and they cry for three days in a row, a lady in a uniform will take the child to the orphanage. Unless, of course, some neighbor has enough of the round-the-clock siren, and will come and personally settle the issue. Or you just go crazy. In case you are tempted to perform this sick experiment, we inform you that a visit of social workers has absolutely no legal consequences.

In modern cities, it looks a bit different – if, say, you lock a child in a concrete cage with no food (and nothing else, really), the appropriate institution will teleport them to the right place after two days. For some reason, advancement of technology has a strong impact on the perception of emotions (and they say that today we only have smartphone-induced social numbness) and as if listening to they baby crying for three days wasn't enough, you will now have to listen to the laments and clamor of the family. Melancholy, remorse and all that. Boring!